Not gonna lie, I made a new secret blog and have been posting in it for months now.
I don’t remember when I started disabling comments to my wordpress posts, I just know that I scroll down and uncheck that “allow comments” box out of habit now. I don’t have a true reason as to why, but I just stopped wanting to know who read what (not that everyone commented on anything they read anyway). I think I didn’t want to know who stopped reading more than anything.
I am such a homebody. It gets worse when I come home during breaks because I feel like time spent with my family is more important than anything else. Call me a loser because I spend 95% of my break sitting at home, but I love being able to look up from the TV screen or computer monitor and see my daddy sitting on the other couch. I love being able to walk into the kitchen and see my momma. I love seeing my brother sitting in the hallway playing with the dogs. I can hang out or go to the movies back at school (granted, with other people than those I would see here) so I feel like I need to get my fill of family while I can, while I’m home for breaks .. but there’s no denying it, I know. I am a homebody.
Why I think it must be hard to be a guy (since us girls like to complain so much about how being a girl sucks):
1) I was at the gym last week with Nary and we went into the first floor workout area, aka the boys’ room. I must say, it smelled foul beyond description, but BO is not the main subject of this first point. I realized while I was in there that it might suck a lot to be a skinny guy with the aspirations of being not-so-skinny. It looked as if all the guys that were working out had huge bulging muscles already and as I imagined myself as a small boy in that room .. haha jk. But really, if a skinnier boy went into that weight room he would need a lot of self-confidence not to be self-conscious. Maybe it’s different from a boy’s perspective, though.
2) Girls are so complicated. WIth all our complaining about stupid emotions and whining about being fat, how do boys handle us? It seems as though “eat, sleep, sports” is the main focus on boys’ minds (with some other topics on the side, of course). Girls, on the other hand, have so much more crap running through our heads and we tend to expect the same from boys, which very rarely proves to be the case.
3) You kind of have to be good at everything because that’s what girls expect from you. Sports? Of course. And not just one kind at that. Even if you’re awesome at basketball, that doesn’t mean you can suck at every other sport. You should still know how to throw a football and catch one, dribble a soccer ball down the field, etc. This third point applies to much more than just athletics, though. You need common sense & street smarts, the ability to drive a manual is a must, and .. you know how to change a tire, don’t you?! Sorry to stereotype, but if I have to teach you how to change your flat, your level of manliness goes down to almost zero in my book. Brains to match the brawn is also always a plus.
4) You can’t wear makeup. If a girl isn’t content with her face, she can tape herself some fake eyelids and glue on some fake eyelashes, dab on some foundation and concealer, brush on some blush and bronzer and if it’s all done right, she’s almost guaranteed to look better and maybe even turn some heads. Boys can’t draw on eyeliner and smack on some lipgloss to beautify themselves. All you have to work with is .. a bare face?!
5) Boys can be so quickly classified as gay. If you like the wrong songs or the wrong movies, say a few feminine things or use one too many hand gestures, people might start to question. On the other end of the double standard, if a girl roughs it and plays sports or likes to hang out with the guys, most people would assume her to be a tomboy before anything else.
6) Being a momma’s boy is a stigma, but being daddy’s little girl just means you’re a princess.
Time goes by toooo fast. Almost half of my thanksgiving break has passed already. Once we get back to school, we’ll have about two more weeks and the semester is over ..??!
My dog needs a haircut. And a bath. Desperately.
Nothing worth mentioning here has happened in a while. I’ve got a book to read and two papers to write before I head back to Harrisonburg, but I doubt I’ll start any of that before the weekend anyway (unfortunately).
Do you ever miss the way things used to be? Because that’s all I’ve been doing lately. I know it’s a stupid thing to do because it means I’m probably not realizing the good things that are happening now, taking things for granted, etc blahblahbbblaaah. It sucks to realize that something is over only after the fact. If you know it’s coming, you can at least prepare yourself for it and maybe even indulge in it one last time, but when you don’t know, all you can do afterwards is think about what’s already passed.
400 pages is too long for an uninteresting book.
The foreign language lab has the heaviest headphones I’ve ever used. They weigh my head down like crazy and after less than five minutes of use, my neck started to hurt.
I waste my life away in between my classes. I usually kick it at the language lab to kill time and to fulfill my hour requirements here, but I’m getting sick of this cozy little room (ha). Actually, I’m sick of Keezell in general .. which is crazy, considering I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life here. I can’t blame it all on my schedule, but I’m hoping that next semester will make me more productive as opposed to all this lounging I do now.
I lost my keys this weekend, which is an unfortunately common occurrence for me. They usually show up somewhere random – my trunk, the fridge, under the couch, in a coat pocket – but this time, I’ve lost hope. At least I had my spare car keys with me in Harrisonburg, but now I’ve gotta be super careful. If I lose these, I’m done ):
I haven’t been to class all week. I woke up every morning feeling so lethargic and sickly that I barely even left the house. I’m starting to feel better and my voice has somewhat returned, but my body just cries for rest every time I start to move. Still can’t wait to be healed.
CULTURE SHOW IS SATURDAY! HOLY MOLY
I have no energy because of this flu. I skipped all my classes both Monday and Tuesday, and the only reason I’m going today is to tell my professors why I’ve had so many absences lately. I killed my bottle of medicine a few nights ago but I haven’t even had the strength really to leave my house to get some more (sad, though, that I’ve been making it to all dance practices. It feels good to sweat haha).
Can’t wait to be healed.
I skip class like it’s my job.
What are all these nights of piled procrastination going to add up to in the end? Despite some crazy dreams I may have as an English buff, there’s a low likelihood that I’ll become a world-renown editor-in-chief of any sort. I’m more likely headed toward some kind of menial, $40k average job and I’m beginning to wonder whether or not I’ll be able to handle that. Although the whole “just marry a rich guy” is a funny backup plan for most girls to blurt while they talk with their girl friends, it’s pretty stupid and really unrealistic. Think about it – how easy is it going to be for you to snag one of those rich guys anyway? And how often do you even run into rich people these days? They have their own exclusive world of old money that we’re pretty much not welcome into. Of course I’m generalizing here, but that’s just what I’ve gathered from my experience with rich peeps.
So if I can’t manage to continue living the more luxurious life I’ve been provided by my parents, what’s the next best thing I should be looking forward to? If I’m already expecting to struggle to make ends meet with my pay from a nine to five, maybe I should be working on fixing other aspects of my life (to make at least that easier for myself).
I’m beginning to find some sadistic humor in our goals in life. When a kid tells us his dream is to become the President of the United States, we might chuckle to ourselves but we’ll commend him for having such big dreams and wish him the best of luck. As that kid grows older, he’ll probably realize that his chance of actually becoming President is slim to none (or that politics are a bunch of hullabaloo). Why is it then, that we’re older now and yet we still have similarly unrealistic dreams? I’m sure that not too many of you reading this are hoping to become the next G.W, but a lot of the people I know dream of owning that nice big house with the freshly cut lawn and maybe even a picket fence to surround the property. But do we ever think of how? We don’t tend to look forward to putting in those hours at work to earn that money to buy that house that you’ll be too busy working to actually enjoy. That’s why your dog will be the one indulging in those Brazilian Cherry hardwood floors you had installed while you’re staring down some computer screen in an 8×8 gray cubicle.
I realize that there are so many things wrong about what I’m saying here. I know that not everybody dreams of money and I also realize that a lot of people are more realistic than myself. I just thought it was an interesting topic that I could babble on about for a decent entry. Oh, and I’d like to add that I’m not as pessimistic as all this may have made me sound.
PS, I kinda can’t believe that I used the word “peeps.”
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
